I’m Carissa, consider this a digital diary.

Self Talk carries a dual meaning to me and my sharing across platforms was born out of both.

1 - the inner monologue

Mid-way through college I became conscious of how deeply destructive the words I used towards myself were. Day by day, moment by moment I was, as Miguel Ruiz writes in his famous Four Agreements, “using the word against myself”. That’s a lot of negativity coming from inside the house. Since becoming aware of this, I’ve been on a journey to rewrite my scripts and rebuild trust and compassion with myself as a foundation for how I’m showing up for everyone else in my life. We can only meet others at the depths we’re willing to meet ourselves.

2 - audio diaries

After graduating college in May of 2023, I moved from the Midwest where I’d spent most of my life. Away from all my friends and family, I embarked to the east coast and began what will forever be the first chapter in my story of ‘real’ adulthood. I had previously considered myself an independent person, but was forced to face the discomfort of being alone and at times very lonely, without the vices of distraction I previously knew. Starting fresh in this way continues to force me to really sit with myself, to meet the depths of the me who’d I’d long pushed away in service of trying to fit in with the way life ‘should’ be. Learning to genuinely enjoy this influx of alone time (not just survive it) has been one of the greatest teachers of my life thus far. From this place I developed a practice to release the pent up energy on days when I found myself alone and without someone to talk to. It’s as simple as opening the voice memo app on my phone, and talking out whatever is on my heart and mind as if I was sending a friend a voice memo or on a long winded rant to my therapist. At first this felt silly (especially out in public where I will still occasionally fake a phone call if I fear someone nearby is judging me), but it quickly grew into one of the most important tools in toolbox. These ‘audio diaries’ are my practice of coming back to myself and talking it out. They also make me feel like a main character in a fun way. In the most literal way, Self Talk is me talking to myself, out loud, every day.

Here you’ll find my introspective, reflective, messy, magical, and made from the heart ponderings I can’t shake the urge to share.

I’m so grateful you’re here.

tx born, chicago raised, boston based for now ★