welcome to my digital diary
Self Talk can mean many things, for me these meanings have inspired my sharing across platforms.
01 the inner monologue
Mid-way through college I became conscious of how deeply destructive the words I used towards myself were. Day by day and moment by moment, I was, as Miguel Ruiz writes in his famous Four Agreements, “using the word against myself”.
That’s a lot of negativity coming from inside the house.
Since becoming aware of this, I’ve been on a journey to rewrite my scripts and rebuild trust and compassion with myself as a foundation for how I’m showing up for everyone else in my life.
We can only meet others at the depths we’re willing to meet ourselves.
02 audio diaries
Post graduation in May of 2023, I moved out of the Midwest where I’d spent most of my life. The transplantation away from all my family and friends to the east coast began what will forever be known as chapter one in the plot of real adulthood.
I had previously considered myself an independent person, but leaving home redefined the title entirely. I’m continually forced to face the discomfort of being alone and at times very lonely. I’ve only just begun to really sit with myself, to meet the depths of the me I’d long departed in service of trying to fit in. Learning to genuinely enjoy this influx of alone time (not just survive it) is one of the greatest teachers of my life so far.
From this place birthed a way to release pent up energy on days when I found myself alone and without someone to talk to. It’s as simple as opening the voice memo app and talking out whatever is on my heart and mind as if I was sending a voice memo to a friend or on a long winded rant to my therapist.
At first this felt very silly (especially out in public where I still occasionally fake a phone call if I fear someone nearby is judging), but it quickly grew into one of the most important tools in toolbox. These audio diaries are my practice of coming back to myself and talking it out. They also make me feel like a main character in a fun way.
In the most literal way, Self Talk is me talking to myself, out loud, every day.